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Advice about what I should do. - 10/19/2008 8:29:32 PM
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Lucy87
Posts: 1
Joined: 10/19/2008
Status: offline
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Hi I have a question. Okay, there is this guy I've known for about a year, and have a major crush on him. I think he may have liked me, because he would always end up by me and act differently around me, than everyone else. The thing is though, I'm shy around guys I like, and have no flirting ability. So, I don't think I was able to send him any signals. For awhile there was an awkward period where we both sort of avoided each other, but now, he's starting to be less awkward again and more talkative. I don't know what to do. I really like him, but I'm just too shy to go up to him and tell him. I would really like to just write him an e-mail and tell him how I feel, but, I don't know if that would be too forward. I've been praying, but God hasn't really showed me anything. The only thing I've developed is this strong urge to write and tell him how I feel. Which is kind unusual for me. At this point I'm tired of guessing and just want to know one way or another. So, I just need some advice please. Thanks
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RE: Advice about what I should do. - 10/19/2008 11:00:49 PM
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MaleorderBride
Posts: 64
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline
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Just talk to him. When he approaches you to talk, simply respond to him like you would any other man, or woman even.
Next time you see him swallow your guts and go up to him and start a conversation with him. Ask about his job or his family or tell him about something that happened to you recently or about a book or movies you've read or seen.
To write him an email or note telling him how you feel would seem awfully high schoolish. And to walk up to him and declare how you feel would be awkward to say the least.
If his behavior leads you to believe that he may be interested, then give him every opportunity to act on that interest. You might even get brave and drop some really obvious hints like informing him, during the course of a conversation on your respective jobs, that your off work every weekend (Or whatever your regular days off are.) Include little tidbits of info like what you like to do in your free time and what kind of movies you enjoy.
If you wish to flirt with him, laugh at his jokes, touch his arm lightly when you talk, make sure you dress a little bit nicer if you know you'll be running into him, ask his advice on things you know he is knowledgable about. For instance, if he's good with home maintenance, ask him to fix a leaky faucet, or if he's a mechanic, ask him to diagnose that funny noise in your engine, or whatever problem your vehicle might have. Find out what he's into and create a situation that will allow him to show off his expertise for you. Roosters like to strut, you know. Give him an audience.
Writing a note or email or walking up and telling him how you feel might be kind of freaky, so be more subtle about it. If the suggestions I've given don't sound like your style then tell a girl friend or relative what's going on and get some flirting advice from someone who's experienced at it.
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Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: Advice about what I should do. - 10/21/2008 9:29:38 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4458
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
Writing a note or email or walking up and telling him how you feel might be kind of freaky, so be more subtle about it.
i think an email would be fine but do think it best not to go really detailed into feelings. maybe mention something in the email related to something that came up in conversation.not sure your age or if it's applicable, i don't think it's too forward you could also try commenting him periodically on myspace/facebook subtly just to show interest.
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Photoblogging My Life
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RE: Advice about what I should do. - 10/24/2008 10:38:21 PM
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Locke
Posts: 355
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline
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Lucy, I would like to simply 'amen' MaleorderBride's comments and respectfully disagree with iwillfearnoevil, except for the bit about sending brief messages over facebook/myspace.
Consider this: how important is it to your life whether or not he likes you? Take it as it comes. Chat, be nonchalant, and let it happen. Many guys, (myself included), find an aggressive female to be a fun quality. but a poor quality to find in a girlfriend. Aggressive girls say either "i'm desperate," or "i'm easy," neither of which is complimentary to your otherwise innocent intentions.
If he likes you, he'll come to you (if he's mature enough). And if he's not? Plenty of fish in the sea, as they say. I met the love of my life nearly halfway into my second year of college. And I told her straight up how I felt once I saw signals coming from her direction - a quality you might find attractive? i know she did...
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View my blog and find links to my writing, graphic design, an online game and more! Click here!!
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RE: Advice about what I should do. - 10/24/2008 11:03:38 PM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1508
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline
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Hey Lucy,
This being your first post, please excuse my brothers above...
Welcome to the Forums! (party horns sound, confetti and string confetti fly everywhere, balloons drop and bounce, the sounds of many containers of beverages opening fills the air) Yea! You are now part of the family, and should try to share at least 20 more posts with us. We guys here are flattered you joined up in our advisory board, too. Just tickled pink as a pigs head out of a mud puddle.
Major crush, eh? MaleorderBride had some good advice. If everyone around you two thinks you ARE dating, though others might like to step up, and you don't date, it's going to throw your whole 'worlds' out of balance, right? I mean, not only will you two not be dating, but no one else will know what to do with their social life either.
Seriously though, if he can't read any of those signals suggested to you by MLB (and I'm not saying they are childish or stupid or would be embarrasing to the guy), and the shy guy doesn't step up, then I'd suggest you move on to plan B, sighing, and do your best to get over him.
Best wishes,
OneJohn410
quote:
ORIGINAL: Lucy87
Hi I have a question. Okay, there is this guy I've known for about a year, and have a major crush on him. I think he may have liked me, because he would always end up by me and act differently around me, than everyone else. The thing is though, I'm shy around guys I like, and have no flirting ability. So, I don't think I was able to send him any signals. For awhile there was an awkward period where we both sort of avoided each other, but now, he's starting to be less awkward again and more talkative. I don't know what to do. I really like him, but I'm just too shy to go up to him and tell him. I would really like to just write him an e-mail and tell him how I feel, but, I don't know if that would be too forward. I've been praying, but God hasn't really showed me anything. The only thing I've developed is this strong urge to write and tell him how I feel. Which is kind unusual for me. At this point I'm tired of guessing and just want to know one way or another. So, I just need some advice please. Thanks
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For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
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RE: Advice about what I should do. - 10/25/2008 7:12:40 AM
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randycyr
Posts: 3
Joined: 10/25/2008
Status: offline
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Lucy, i think "iwill fear no evil'' gave you great advice, Your a precise jewel so dont give all you mistries away at once.
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randy
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