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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/20/2008 1:27:38 AM
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pink..
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quote:
ORIGINAL: agapetos
[quote:
I learned later that holding up two fingers is the same as holding up a middle finger! Actually, it depends which way you're holding your hand what it means. Question is, do you know the origins of either?
I don't know the origins.
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/20/2008 7:45:06 AM
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lexie
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quote:
Actually, it depends which way you're holding your hand what it means. Question is, do you know the origins of either?
Well, I was told I was not holding my hand in a proper way! And I actually don't know the origins of either, I was just told never to do that again!
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/20/2008 11:59:00 AM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lexie
I learned later that holding up two fingers is the same as holding up a middle finger!
Hmmm, actually I thought both were offensive/insulting, but that each may mean something very slightly different, but I don't think I should say, or allude to, either of them here, lol. I'm not totally sure of that either - I asked my 18 yo son, and he said to me (bless him) "I don't know, mum, I've never used either of them!"
< Message edited by manda59 -- 6/20/2008 12:07:10 PM >
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/20/2008 12:03:56 PM
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manda59
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Wikipedia is quite interesting on the "V" sign (and does not use any offensive terms in doing so!)
EDIT!! - sorry, there is one offensive word on the Wiki site, just to warn you.
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/20/2008 7:45:52 PM
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pink..
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Thanks for the link Manda.
When I was bar tending there would be times when it would be rather noisy and someone would hold up two fingers meaning that they wanted to more drinks.
When I was doing child care, children's church, VBS and many other children's ministries, the leader would hold up two fingers and that meant that everyone needed to quiet down.
Very interesting how different a gesture can be to a different culture.
I really have never thought about how different the UK and the US could be on some things.
_____________________________
Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/20/2008 9:15:17 PM
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pink..
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THIS THREAD got me to thinking about manners. From what I've heard many times, Americans tend to be lacking in the area of manners and respect. So I figured this Y.... would ask you Brits what you think?
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/20/2008 10:25:16 PM
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pink..
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Yes, but I was talking about Americans, not Texans. 
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/21/2008 10:54:04 PM
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pink..
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I was looking at some of the apartments/flats that they show on Google UK. They look so big! Are most of them really that spacious?
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/22/2008 8:50:53 AM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
I was looking at some of the apartments/flats that they show on Google UK. They look so big! Are most of them really that spacious?
They vary. Are you talking about the size of the rooms, number of rooms, or what?
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/22/2008 11:59:59 AM
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pink..
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I've slept since then, so I can't remember exactly which ones I looked at. The ones that seem to stick out showed pics of what looked like a main room or a living/dining/kitchen combo. They looked very spacious for an apartment!
Of course, from my amateur photography days, I know that I could make things bigger, smaller, nicer, etc. depending on lighting, angles etc.
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/22/2008 4:31:58 PM
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GrahamCracker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Not really sure I can answer you there, Roberta. I've been told a number of times by Yanks (friends) that Brits are generally considered to be rude and unfriendly.  I have to say I just laughed, because I can see how we could be seen that way.
And during one of my trips to Texas, I overheard my hostess telling someone how rude and ungrateful I was, because I only said "Thank you - that was very nice" after having eaten the meal she'd prepared for me. 
manda,
Part of the problem is what people consider an appropriate compliment as opposed to one that sounds like flattery to me. I grew up in the northern US but have southern US roots. Northerners tend to be a little more serious. At least, that's how I perceived them.When I displayed my southern roots in grade school, I was ridiculed.
When I complement someone, I want every word to be sincere, not flattery.
< Message edited by GrahamCracker -- 6/23/2008 4:49:48 PM >
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Larry
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 1:52:33 AM
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pink..
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Thank you is manners enough. If you want to compliment a dish and discuss what you liked about it, I'll be glad to do that, but don't keep thanking me.... that just makes me uncomfortable.
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 7:14:35 AM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GrahamCracker
quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
And during one of my trips to Texas, I overheard my hostess telling someone how rude and ungrateful I was, because I only said "Thank you - that was very nice" after having eaten the meal she'd prepared for me.
Part of the problem is what people consider an appropriate complement as opposed to one that sounds like flattery to me. I grew up in the northern US but have southern US roots. Northerners tend to be a little more serious. At least, that's how I perceived them.When I displayed my southern roots in grade school, I was ridiculed.
When I complement someone, I want every word to be sincere, not flattery.
Graham
Are you saying that, to you, "Thank you - that was very nice" sounds like flattery?
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 10:22:28 AM
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HisCovenant
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I lived in the Northern US growing up and have lived in the South for the last 20 years.
Southern people are usually effusive, greeting all who cross their path, and are gracious to all. Obviously, we are sometimes rude and some aren't gracious, but as a culture that's how we interact. However, it's hard to form close relationahips because everyone is kind... it's difficult to tell who really is a friend and wants to further an aquaintance.
Northerners only greet their friends. They don't look everyone in the eye as they pass on the street and certainly wouldn't greet a stranger as a way of life. They come across as rude to someone used to being gracious to all, but they really aren't being rude, just not effusive. However, it's much easier to tell who your friends are in this type of culture.
I guess my point is that rude is in the eye of the beholder, even when someone isn't techniquely being rude. At least, that's my experience. I'd guess some of that goes on among international cultures, too. It's all about perception and taking the time to really understand each other instead of just looking at the surface of our cultures.
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 3:40:52 PM
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pink..
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quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
In my house...if someone cleans their plate or gets seconds, I figure they like it and that's compliment enough for me.
My biggest compliment is when a person waits until they taste the food before salting it! I have ways of teaching them to taste first and then add salt if need be.
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 3:50:36 PM
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Kath
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quote:
Of course, everything around here is "very nice" so by saying that, it just meant "ok" rather than anything extraordinary or special.
Right, like saying it was 'very nice' means it was merely adequate.
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 4:44:00 PM
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GrahamCracker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Graham
Are you saying that, to you, "Thank you - that was very nice" sounds like flattery?
No, no, a thousand times, no. But sometimes it should be sufficient.
If someone gets more than that out of me, I am either highly impressed by their personality; taken in by them hook, line and sinker; feeling really good at the moment; or I believe they really believe they went above and beyond the call of duty in doing something to benefit me.
A couple of months ago, when I said "manda is right," I said it because you had worded your comment really well and presented your ideas better than I thought I could do. Not to mention that I agreed with you.
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Larry
"Clarity before agreement." Dennis Prager
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 4:50:02 PM
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HisCovenant
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
quote:
Of course, everything around here is "very nice" so by saying that, it just meant "ok" rather than anything extraordinary or special.
Right, like saying it was 'very nice' means it was merely adequate.
Around here, we use "nice" or "very nice" to say "adequate." We laugh at my FIL because "fine" and "very nice" are his complements of choice. You never ever get any more explaination or "deeper" compliment. Nothing wrong with it, but it would be nice to know degrees of compliments instead of just "nice" or "fine."
Dh and I laugh at people trying to improve in the word "adequate." To our way of thinking, it's either adequate or it's not... you can't say "extremely adequate" or "very adequate."
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 9:03:24 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
However manda, it would seem that you were appropriate in your compliment and thanks. Unless...the person was wanting to know more about what you actually thought of the food itself. Of course, everything around here is "very nice" so by saying that, it just meant "ok" rather than anything extraordinary or special.
I am confused - what's wrong with something being "ok"?
And besides, the point of what I said to my hostess was to thank her, to show my gratitude, not to big her up on what she'd done.
I guess we Brits are just generally people of fewer words. As in less is more. We actually also tend to doubt the sincerity of people who rather seem to exude compliments.
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 10:05:36 PM
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pink..
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I just thought of this when I was in the other thread. I've noticed that when I get pms from agapetos or Manda, my e-mail says that I have a pm from ibelieve.com.
Is ibelieve.com your preferred portal or is it the most easily accessible for you? Or is it the only accessible portal for you?
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 10:17:18 PM
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manda59
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For me, it's the portal whose colours are easiest on my eyes.
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/23/2008 10:25:05 PM
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pink..
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Ah, I agree that ibelieve has nicer colors.
I like to use the "Next Unread Sub" link though, so ibelieve doesn't work that well for me.
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Question from a Brit to any Y... umm American - 6/24/2008 11:46:35 AM
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doinkdom
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
However manda, it would seem that you were appropriate in your compliment and thanks. Unless...the person was wanting to know more about what you actually thought of the food itself. Of course, everything around here is "very nice" so by saying that, it just meant "ok" rather than anything extraordinary or special.
I am confused - what's wrong with something being "ok"?
And besides, the point of what I said to my hostess was to thank her, to show my gratitude, not to big her up on what she'd done.
I guess we Brits are just generally people of fewer words. As in less is more. We actually also tend to doubt the sincerity of people who rather seem to exude compliments.
I think HisCovenant defined it better than me with "Around here, we use "nice" or "very nice" to say "adequate."
And I still think what you said was fine, the hostess was just looking for more and was disappointed to not have gotten it.
Too bad for her to have missed out on a genuine "thank you."
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"Well in my experience if something seems too good to be true
it's best to shoot it just in case."
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